Course: CMM 128 Interviewing Practices

Lecture Notes

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Emotional Preparations to Improve Listening
Emotional preparations to improve listening

1. Leave your worries behind

When you enter a listening experience such as a classroom where you are listening to a lecture, if you have worries on your mind, you will not be as effective at listening.  These worries could be something as significant as a crisis at home or as minor as needing to remember to get milk on the way home.  If your worries need your immediate attention, you should probably devote your attention to that concern.  On the other hand, if being in the listening situation is more important, resolve to leave your worries behind and give your full attention to the speaker.  Some minor distractions, like remembering to get milk on the way home, can be set aside by writing yourself a note.  Then you won't worry about forgetting to do something.

2. Identify red flags
Red flags, also called trigger words, are people, places, or ideas that cause you to have a strong reaction.  Examples of red flags could be derogatory terms used to define groups of people, references to subjects you find distasteful, or the mention of an idea that has a great deal of significance to you although it might be meaningless to others.  The result is that you think about this red flag rather than about what the speaker is saying.  When you hear a red flag, consciously recognize that it is a red flag for you and resolve to deal with it later.  Then you will be able to catch the speaker's message.  Afterwards, you can decide if you need to resolve a personal issue or if the speaker needs to be made aware a poor choice of words.

3. Develop an appreciative listening experience
Listening can help deal with stress by helping you learn to relax.  Subjecting yourself to an appreciative listening experience and learning how that experience helps you relax can be used in stressful situations to help you relax.  When you feel stressed, all you need to do is recall the appreciative listening experience and that memory should lead you to your learned ability to relax.  There are relaxation tapes that are specifically designed to do this or it could be something as simple as you consciously realizing what listening experiences relax you.  It could be the memory of the sounds of a beach, rainfall, a purring cat, or a special song.