Ways We Deal with Common Errors

Errors in Word Choice

Often, errors in word choice lead to errors in parallelism.   Errors in word choice arise when the wrong word is chosen for the wrong writing occasion.   Yet, when errors in word choice lead to errors in parallelism, they do so when the wrong words are chosen in conjunction with other words.   Let's read further to find out more.

First, let's look at the basic problems with word choice:

Wordiness

Wordiness is simply using more words than are needed to convey meaning.  When our writing is dictated by page requirements and word counts, we often accept more words in our writing than are necessary because we may lack a reason to do otherwise. Too many words, however, can make an essay feel cluttered and even void of ideas.  

 

Here are some examples of phrases commonly used in college essays that could be reduced from many words to few:

 

 

Original

 

Revised

The author goes on to say

The author says

I came to the realization that

I realized

Due to the fact that

Because/Since

At that point in time

Then

 

Often wordiness occurs when a writer is thinking through what he wants to say while he is writing. Wordiness could be considered the equivalent of thinking aloud, and it is often best caught during revision. Just remember, don't use two, three, or four words when one will do. 

See the sidebar for a list of some common examples of wordiness.

 


Slang

Slang expressions are never appropriate for formal writing situations, although they may be acceptable in everyday conversation.

 

 

 

Here are a couple examples of slang:

 

"My bad"

 

A slang term used to take responsibility.

"Busted"

 

 

A term that traditionally means "broken," but as slang, it may mean someone was caught or got into trouble.

 

Along with slang, be careful not to use words that are too conversational, such as the following:

 

"well" as in "well, many problems face our current school system."

 

 

Texting

 

Likewise, you'll want to avoid using language common to texting in your writing.

 

Expressions like"lol" or "yolo" are never appropriate in academic writing.

 

 

Informal Words and Contractions

Most of us have learned to avoid beginning a sentence with "and" or "but," but it is also advisable to avoid beginning a sentence with "so," which can make the writing sound too conversational.

 

In addition to avoiding informal language in a formal writing context, you will also want to avoid using contractions in most academic writing.

 

Contractions are two words combined by the use of an apostrophe, such as the following:

 

"can't" or "shouldn't."

 

 

See the sidebar for a list of some of the most commonly used contractions.

In Unit 7, you will learn about revising with technology; here, you will see that a convenient way to get rid of contractions is with the "replace" function where you can replace all uses of "can't" throughout the essay with "cannot."

Precision

Finally, consider one last common error regarding word choice: choosing words that lack precision. Often, we may describe something as "interesting" or "different," but these descriptive words lack precision.

For instance, the reader may wonder in what way was the subject "interesting." Was it controversial? Was it surprising? Was it inspiring?  Similarly, a word like "different" begs an explanation: in what way are the two or more subjects being compared different? While you may not choose a different word for "different," you may need to be sure you follow it with a clear explanation.

It is also a good idea to be careful with pronouns, e.g. I, he, she, him, her, this, that, etc.  Many times if you begin a sentence with the word "this," as in

 

"This is the reason why she did not go to college right away,"

 

you may be assuming your reader knows what "this" refers to.  Almost always, you can take "this" out and simply state what the subject is, as in:

 

"She did not go to college right away because her father was diagnosed with cancer."

 

Personal pronouns like "he" and "her" refer back to subjects that have already been stated, but sometimes the reference is unclear. For instance, in the sentence

 

"My aunt accepted the gift from my mother, even though she didn't like her very much"

 

leaves the reader wondering who didn't like whom.  In this instance, you may want to replace the "she" in the last half of the sentence:

 

"My aunt accepted the gift from my mother, even though my aunt didn't like her very much."

 

 

See the sidebar for a link to the Purdue Online Writing Lab and more information on conciseness.

  


 

Errors in Parallelism - Balance

Errors in word choice occur when the wrong word is chosen or when too many words are used unnecessarily. Errors in parallelism occur when the wrong words are linked together.

 

Remember that parallelism contributes to the way a sentence sounds. It is working when the sentence has rhythm. Compare the way these two sentences sound:

 

1. As director of the firm, she is looking for workers who are motivated, dedicated, and ambitious.

 

2. As director of the firm, she is looking for workers who motivate themselves, are dedicated, and who want to achieve a lot in their lives.

 

The second sentence lacks parallelism because the words used in the descriptions at the end of the sentence are not balanced.

 

In the first sentence, "motivated," "dedicated," and "ambitious" are all single-word adjectives.

 

As director of the firm, she is looking for workers who are motivated, dedicated, and ambitious.

 

 

In the second sentence , "who motivate themselves," "are dedicated," and "who want to achieve a lot in their lives" sound cluttered because they convey their ideas in very different ways. They are also wordy, which is one reason why errors in word choice often contribute to errors in parallelism.

 

As director of the firm, she is looking for workers who motivate themselves, are dedicated, and who want to achieve a lot in their lives.

 

 

Often adding unnecessary words will throw a sentence out of balance, too. For instance, this sentence lacks parallelism:

  

Mary went to the bakery, the library, and rushed to the grocery store.

  

The word "rushed" negatively affects the rhythm of the sentence. It would be best to change "went" to "rushed" or remove the word entirely. You would remove "rushed" because "library" is not preceded by its own verb and to foster parallel structure, items in a list need to be balanced.  In this case, because you precede "bakery" with "went" and "grocery store" with "rushed," "library" also needs a verb. Here is the correction:

 

 

Mary went to the bakery, stopped by the library, and rushed to the grocery store.

 

While errors in parallelism soon become something you can hear or sense, they are often recognizable if you take stock of how many words and what types of words are used in each part of the sentence.

 

Here is a short practice paragraph to see if you can pick out the common sentence style errors and name them. Use your mouse to drag the corresponding error type to the correct place on the paragraph.

 Hyperlink to Labeling Activity 

 

 


 

 

Self Check Area

 

Now let's check your understanding of some common errors. Click on the "Self Check Quiz" wording below to begin.

 Open/Close Self Check Activity

 

 

Click here to go to the review section for Module 3: Common Errors in Sentence Style.